Polar Bear Run 20 January 26th 2019 "TWOFER"

Welcome to the website for the 20th Annual Polar Bear Run. This year we are doing a twofer - going to two cool places for the price of one! First we will be leaving Westchester Commons at precisely 08:15 or for those of you who weren't in the armed forces or military brats that's 8:15 AM on January 26. We will journey to an old, old General Store. So old you can smell (taste) the oldness in the air. So old is this place that a lot of the stuff is antique including cars that are about 100 years old. Next we will go forward to the 60s and 70s to see a restoration shop/garage/huge man cave and view a collection of muscle cars. The vehicles range from show winners to rusty projects. Then we will go to an all you can chow down buffet for a special price. If you're a senior tell them and get a discount.

There are two rules for the Polar Bear Run. ONE - we leave precisely on time just like they did when dropping the atomic bomb. If you arrive late we will be gone - try to follow the blue oil smoke. TWO - make sure your vehicle can make it without breaking down. If you do break down do not expect help - we will drive right past you with a one finger salute. If you're got a set of brass ones then sign up using the form below.

The Devil's in the Details, Baby

> > > We will leave the Burger King at Westchester Commons at 8:15 AM January 26th. Notice I said "leave" - we will leave at that time so be there early. Burger King will be open if you want to burn your mouth with a cup of joe. Westchester Commons is at the intersection of Route 60 and Route 288. The exact address is 161 Pikeview Drive, Midlothian, VA 23113. There is a bank and CVS next door if you wish to park there. We are meeting here so we can make all right turns to get on 60 west. Just be sure to get the directions from your fearless leader.

> > > Empty bladder, fill gas tank, make sure your vehicle can cruise at 55 mph - and of the utmost importance is that the brakes work on your vehicle and are not the "push and pray" type. My truck has enough dents and dings already.

> > > Leave with the group and stay up with us because we are heading into farm country where getting lost happens daily.

> > > Bring $$$ - you WILL spend them. The General Store has ***SURPRISE*** stuff for sale! You will need about $10 per person for the all you can cram down buffet. Pay attention to the parking info in the directions you will get! We don't want to see your special vehicle floating down river because you parked in a low area.

> > > We will leave at 8:15 and hit lunch just before noon unless someone/many screw(s) up.

> > > REMEMBER - to check over your vehicle and make sure it can make it there and back. We will be going through farm country where no one will have a spark plug for a small block Chevy. But they do have parts for old Ford model 8N tractors.

> > > Be sure to sign up using the info below. These people want to be warned how many are coming in case they need to buy more ammo.

President Trump would love to go on the Polar Bear Run. But he says he is heading out to Home Depot for mortar mix and blocks to build something he calls "the wall". Hopefully he will get in built and join us next year.

Governor Northam is a car guy and would like to go but as you can see his 53 Olds is on the lift. He didn't cite that as a reason not to go but instead insists that he is "working on his vision for building an economy in Virginia that works for everyone." Might be more productive to just work on the Olds.

I will send an email reminder to everyone a couple of days before the run. If one of those "s" words falls from the sky we may move to the next Saturday. Also as seen in the photo no "snow hats" are allowed on the run.

If the going gets tough then we have women ready to pull you out of trouble. Have the big bucks ready to pay them.

Drive your special vehicle on the Polar Bear. But if your special one looks like this you may have to take something else. Old heaps go first, then the flex fuel plasticmobiles.

Be sure to get your directions at each stop from fearless leader or his equally fearless wife - or - you could end up like this guy waiting for the Polar Bear to come and eat him. And comrade be sure to keep up and not get lost.

Just another reason why you should follow the directions, keep up with the leader and don't stop unless the leader stops. I know there may be some tempting farm girls in farm country you may want to stop for. These women may even be wearing orange is the new black but they may not have a good "history".

Women - be sure to dress warmly just like this young lady. Note the nice warm furry coat she has on along with her boots with dancing heels and bikini underwear. This is how women should dress for the cold.

Make sure your old piece of crap doesn't take a crap on the run. This Buick was like new before hitting snow, slush, salt and other "s" words. But don't worry. A quick trip to Wal*Mart for some rust restorer, rattle cans of paint and it will be good as new.

No, we will not be eating from some weird food truck. Veggie Vibrations food is not for real men and real women. We will eat at an all you can keep down buffet. I know some of you want to "get your money's worth" and eat until it explodes out one end or the other - but - please think about those around you who may not wish to see your belt break and fly off.

This year in addition to avoiding the Polar Bear that will eat you if you break down we also have to avoid any Russian collusion. These Russian army women will be on the look out for us so avoid collusion with them if possible. WARNING: Collusion with even one of them could end up with you paying child support. Some guy named Mueller is checking on them.

Since we are driving into farm country and then back to the big city you may see a couple of strange vehicles. Just keep out of their way since some of these wanna be monster truckers could decide to try and run over your low riding buggy.

You MUST Register!

Just send me an email or use the form below to let me know how many are attending. A club representative can also contact me to let me know how many club members to expect.

You can contact me by phone, email or use the form below:
Fred Fann
Phone: 804-590-9583
Email: fredfann@comcast.net

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I'll see you on the Polar Bear Run honey. I want to shift some gears.