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"The Relay" Online Newsletter
April 2026 Issue

This is the monthly online newsletter for the car club council. All car hobbyist events are listed on this site under "Calendar." Just click on the link above to view the list of car shows and other activities.

President's Message

How bad was the General Assembly session? A friend of mine has been a registered lobbyist for several years at the Assembly. He retired and they wanted him back. How badly did they want him back - he was thinking of a number for his salary but instead he was offered a lot more - plus free Uber rides from his house to the GA and back. He told me it was the worse session ever - no one (with any common sense) wanted to be there. Yet it wasn't as bad as it could have been. The next big thing is what happens on April 21. And also what the Supreme Court does with election day. The court is going to decide if ballots can be counted days after election day (they are in Virginia along with our 45 days of voting, election day voting and even provisional ballots). If the court decides that as the Constitution says there is just one election day and not an election week or month the decision will be huge.

Car season is here along with pollen and taxes. It really takes off this month with shows and cruises every weekend. And we have the council show at Pamplin Park on May 9. The 7th Annual Breakthrough Show could use some help this year. Half the show committee is out - one member with heart surgery and another with a broken hip. We could use some help with parking and we always could use silent auction items and door prize items. If you can help contact me fredfann@comcast.net. If you know a business that can help with some items please put them in touch. New this year is more classes which means more trophies and also added to the firing of the cannon and Civil War muskets there will also be Revolutionary War muskets that are flintlocks. They are more interesting to watch than the percussion cap guns.

We will be meeting again at Dolce Vito - Italian for the good life - the restaurant was named for the movie from 1960. The restaurant wanted a $50 room fee but I talked her into letting us have the room since we have been there several times and have never failed to show up. People making reservations for a group and not showing up is the reason for the room fee. I've heard the same story from several restaurants. If you know of a good restaurant with a meeting or banquet room please let me know about it as they are getting tougher to find. Some restaurants don't want groups because they do not have the staff to cover them.

With all the bad going on it is nice to see something positive happen. A man in Goochland County recently purchased a 1971 Road Runner for $140. It was abandoned and was about to get crushed (look up what a 71 RR costs now). A nice story and I think you will enjoy it: Hemmings. I owned a 71 Road Runner back in the 70s. Those were the days of inexpensive muscle cars. Check the ads in the back of the Hemmings magazine for price shock on what those same muscles cars are selling for today.

~ Fred

Next Meeting

The next meeting will be Monday, April 27th at 6:30 PM at Dolce Vita, 2401 Colony Crossing Place, Midlothian, VA, 23112, (804) 639-7411. They have a meeting room that we will use. Website with menu: dolcevitamidlothian.com.


The 7th Annual Breakthrough Car Show is May 9.
Get all the details and a registration form at carclubcouncil.com/carshow

Get Your Vehicle In The Movies

Hey y’all-

My name is Brian Landis, and I’m a filmmaker in Richmond. I’m getting ready to shoot my first feature film this Summer, and what I’ve realized is that there is no real database of cars for productions to use around town. I’ve been able to get most of the cars that I need by asking around, but I was motivated to build out a proper website to show off what car collectors have and are willing to rent to productions (TV shows, movies, commercials, music videos). If you would be willing to or are interested in hearing more about it, or are willing to send this out to your members, I’d be very appreciative. It would be free for collectors to post their cars, boats, and trains, etc., and, until I built up the database, I would be a matchmaker for free to the productions. Basically, I’m always hearing about filmmakers who need cars, and no one really knows of a good, reliable place to do it. I’m trying to fix that.

Thanks,
Brian
804.262.3241
coolcar@mooviecars.com
www.mooviecars.com

Car Hobbyist News

National Report

You know the big news - the war on Iran has caused gas prices to shoot upwards. Despite producing energy here the price is going up because it is the global price and that still affects the price of oil drilled in the US. As I write this several stations have gas in the $4 and up range. This is not good for the economy and hopefully the war will be over and settled soon.

In other bad news there is now a federal mandate to put surveillance cameras monitoring driver alertness in new vehicles by 2027. These infrared sensors track eye movement and prevent ignition if impairment detected. One fear is that a deer runs in front of your vehicle, you swerve hard and then your car cuts off because it thinks you are driving impaired. There are also biometric data privacy concerns. Infrared cameras and sensors create a constant biometric assessment of driver alertness and sobriety. You will be watched while driving just like employees in buildings are being watched by cameras all the time. Unlike those all DUI ignition interlocks where a person has to blow into a device to prove they are not drunk these watch all the time and you do not have to interact with them. The automakers don't want them - they will add up to $500 per vehicle at a time when vehicle prices are too high for many to buy a new vehicle plus he technology remains unreliable - think the deer running in front of you. Looks like your driving privacy expires if you buy a vehicle in 2027 or later. Government - always getting in the way of freedom.

Be sure to scroll down and read "Bad Bets: Massive EV Subsidies Not Paying Off" - we've wasted billions on EVs and now very few people want them. Government has tried to force agencies to buy the expensive EVs - from the Post Office to school buses - it has been a failure. “This has been a colossal mistake,” said Thomas Pyle, president of the Institute for Energy Research. “This has been one of the worst examples of the government trying to impose its will on carmakers and the public.” Yeah, government always getting in the way of freedom. With the Endangerment Finding gone we can hopefully get back to having automakers building what people want and not what the government demands.

State Report

I have the important auto-related legislation in an article below this one. I have updated their status in red at the time this newsletter was posted. You may click on the bill number to see its status on the LIS (Legislative Information System). You can see all auto-related legislation on this page at legislation.html. You can also see all legislation in the Assembly at lis.virginia.gov.

This was one crappy General Assembly session. The 55 new taxes - gone - didn't make it. Many of the gun control bills were gone and those that made it will be challenged in court because they are unconstitutional. RGGI is coming back and it is expected to cost over $500 in our electric bills per year. From Thomas Jefferson Institute for Public Policy: "The cost of rejoining RGGI is going up. TJI’s Steve Haner reports that the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative (RGGI) recently held its first carbon allowance auction of 2026, with prices reaching nearly $25 per ton (up from just $7.60 a ton five years ago when Virginia first joined RGGI) -- a significant increase from the previous year. Virginia's planned reentry into the compact will impose $550 million or more per year on electricity producers, which will be passed on to consumers in the form of higher monthly bills. Ultimately, the escalating costs of these carbon taxes, combined with infrastructure challenges like new transmission corridors, will continue to drive up energy prices for Virginians through the end of the decade."

The car tax repeals have been continued to next year. The Assembly did pass collective bargaining for public employees but delayed it for two years - they don't want it in effect when the next state wide election comes up in 2027. It is going to cost so much that several county and city officials have asked the governor to veto it. April 13 is the date when the governor has to either let a bill become law or sign it into law or veto it or amend it and send back to the Assembly. It will be very interesting to see what action she takes. And the General Assembly has to come back because they couldn't agree to a budget. The number one thing an elective body does is set a budget that establishes spending priorities. If you can't get a budget straight then you can't get much else straight.

There were several speed photo bills in the Assembly. One bill got continued to next year and the others didn't make it. Looks like they are still trying to figure out how to make this cash cow work. Yes, the future is bright - sensors to cut off the car if you drive a little crazy and you have to watch for photo speed cameras - not fun. Keep in mind government is about control more than about safety; that is just how they sell this stuff to the people.

A couple of states have suspended their gas tax because of the recent gas price increase due to the Iran war. Republicans in the General Assembly want to suspend the state gas tax for 90 days but the Democrats have said they do not support it. We're living in a state with a nearly $3 billion surplus - not a surprise the people who proposed new taxes and RGGI would not cut any tax.

Mid-Winter Blues Cruise March 7
See all the photos at Mid-Winter Blues Cruise March 7

General Assembly Bills of Interest to Us

I have listed below the most important bills to car hobbyists. Click on the highlighted bill number to find out that bill's status. Bills that didn't make it have been removed.

Taxes - these bills or resolutions are on the personal property car tax. The first one is a constitutional amendment that would need to pass, have a state wide election, pass the Assembly again and then it would go to the voters to decide. The other two are to study how to do this and the costs associated.

  • HJ 14 Constitutional amendment (first reference); personal property tax; exemption for motor vehicles owned for personal, noncommercial use. Exempts one motor vehicle used for personal, noncommercial purposes from state and local taxes. The amendment specifies that such exemption is only applicable (i) for automobiles, motorcycles, and pickup trucks and (ii) on and after the date the motor vehicle is acquired or the effective date of the amendment, whichever is later, and is not applicable for any period of time prior to the effective date of the amendment. Continued to 2027

  • HJ 34 Study; Department of Taxation; options for abolishing the personal property taxation of certain qualifying vehicles; report. Directs the Department of Taxation to study options for abolishing the personal property taxation of certain qualifying vehicles and to evaluate alternative local revenue sources in order to account for the shortfall in local tax revenues that will result from the abolition of such tax. Continued to 2027

  • SR6 Study; Department of Taxation; options for abolishing the personal property taxation of certain qualifying vehicles; report. Requests the Department of Taxation to study options for abolishing the personal property taxation of certain qualifying vehicles and to evaluate alternative local revenue sources in order to account for the shortfall in local tax revenues that will result from the abolition of such tax. Continued to 2027
  • HB 1143 Registration decals; discontinued. Discontinues the requirement for and issuance of decals displaying the expiration month and year of motor vehicle registration to be displayed on license plates. The bill also removes the requirement for the Department of Motor Vehicles to issue appropriately designated license plates for motor vehicles held for rental. The bill does not eliminate existing requirements that vehicles are to be registered. Continued to 2027

  • HB 1145 Motor vehicle safety inspections; safety inspectors. Requires motor vehicle safety inspections to be conducted by persons certified as a safety inspector by the Superintendent of State Police. Existing law requires the person conducting a vehicle safety inspection or under whose immediate supervision such inspection is made to have at least one year's practical experience as an automotive mechanic or have satisfactorily completed a training program in automotive mechanics approved by the Superintendent of State Police. Passed - Governor must act by April 13

Photo Speed Cameras - there are several bills on regulating photo speed cameras. They got their foot in the door with cameras in school zones and highway construction zones. One construction zone on I-64 in New Kent County produced over $6 million in fines in 6 weeks. These cameras are used in Europe and other places. The police can only stop one speeder at a time while these cameras can photo dozens in just a few minutes. You may recall there were several of the photo speed camera bills. Some passed the House, some passed the Senate but the two bodies couldn't agree on the different versions before the session ended.

  • HB 1330 Speed safety cameras, pedestrian crossing violation monitoring systems, and stop sign violation monitoring systems; placement and operation; violation enforcement; civil penalties. Authorizes state and local law-enforcement agencies to place and operate pedestrian crossing violation and stop sign violation monitoring systems in school crossing zones, highway work zones, and high-risk speed corridors for purposes of recording pedestrian crossing and stop sign violations, as those terms are defined in the bill. The bill changes the terms "photo speed monitoring device" to "speed safety camera" and "high-risk intersection segment" to "high-risk speed corridor" in provisions related to vehicle speed violations. The bill makes various changes to the requirements for the use of speed safety cameras and extends most of those requirements to the use of pedestrian crossing violation and stop sign violation monitoring systems. The bill requires local law-enforcement agencies implementing or expanding the use of pedestrian crossing violation and stop sign violation monitoring systems, prior to the implementation or expansion of such systems, to conduct a public awareness program for such implementation or expansion. Continued to 2027

Bill to bring back the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative. Governor Spanberger in her first address to the joint General Assembly stated that Virginia will rejoin the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative, or RGGI.

  • HB 397 Clean energy and community flood preparedness; market-based trading program. Directs the Director of the Department of Environmental Quality to establish, implement, and manage an auction program to sell allowances into a market-based trading program consistent with the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative and the Clean Energy and Community Flood Preparedness Act. Under current law, the Director is authorized but not required to establish, implement, and manage such auction program. The bill requires certain regulatory actions necessary for the Commonwealth to rejoin the Regional Greenhouse Gas Initiative and resume participation therein. Passed - Governor must act by April 13 - Governor has stated she supports RGGI

Asphalt Angels Show March 13 - 15
See all the photos at Asphalt Angels Show March 13 - 15

Meme Time

Electric Ratepayers to Pay For EV Charging Stations

Despite the fact that few are buying EVs and their popularity has vanished the General Assembly has passed a bill that will allow electric companies to use ratepayer cash as capitol to build EV charging stations. The bill only needs the governor's signature to become law.

HB1225
Status: Pending Governor's Communication
Transportation electrification; integrated resource planning, fast-charging stations, etc.
Summary As Passed House

Transportation electrification; integrated resource planning; fast-charging stations; cost recovery by electric utilities. Permits Dominion Energy and Appalachian Power Company to file a proposed tariff with the State Corporation Commission (the Commission) to provide utility owned and operated electrical distribution infrastructure to support electric vehicle charging stations. The bill requires Dominion Energy and Appalachian Power Company to file transportation electrification plans with the Commission by February 1, 2028, and every three years thereafter, and includes requirements for information to include in such plans. Under the bill, Dominion Energy and Appalachian Power Company are required to seek recovery of necessary and appropriate expenditures for transportation electrification only through their rates for generation and distribution services.

The bill prohibits Dominion Energy and Appalachian Power Company from petitioning for approval of expenditures to own and operate electric vehicle fast-charging stations unless such stations are located at or beyond a radial distance as determined by the Commission relative to the location of any privately owned fast charging station. The bill also directs the Commission to initiate a rulemaking proceeding to determine the appropriate radial distance for such utility-owned fast-charging stations from privately-owned fast charging stations, to enter its final rule in such proceeding no later than December 31, 2027, and to review such final rule by December 31, 2029. Provisions of the bill restricting the radial distance of utility owned and operated fast-charging stations shall expire on July 1, 2031.

This is not good for your electric bill - add in RGGI which will cost ratepayers an addition $500 million a year.

California Charges 14 in Latest Crackdown on Montana License Plate Loophole

From Hagerty
Looks like everyone hates a car tax ~ Fred

Te famous “Montana license plate loophole” is an apparently appealing concept. It allows car, boat, and RV buyers to form a limited liability company (LLC) that is technically domiciled in Montana, then buy and register their new vehicle in the LLC’s name. It’s possible to do this without ever stepping foot or turning a wheel in Big Sky Country. The next step is simply to slap on the shiny new Montana license plate and enjoy. For enthusiasts in high-tax states and highly regulated states like, say, California, the Montana loophole can potentially save tens of thousands of dollars, because Montana assesses no sales tax or state vehicle inspections, nor any emissions rules. The loophole has gotten popular enough that, according to Bloomberg, by 2023 there were more than 2.3 million registered vehicles “in” Montana, a state with a population of a little more than 1 million, and just 879,000 licensed drivers.

Other states have taken notice of this and started looking into things. Last month, for example, California officials posted a 57-count complaint and charged 14 people in a tax-evasion scheme related to Montana vehicle registrations. Charges from the California Attorney General’s office include conspiracy, filing false sales tax returns, failure to file consumer-use tax returns, perjury by declaration, and money laundering.

According to the California Department of Tax and Fee Administration (CDTFA), the agency has also identified nearly 500 dealers involved in more than 2500 vehicle sales since 2023 to customers claiming to use the vehicle in Montana. It has also “opened more than 400 investigations into high-end automobile purchasers and begun nearly 300 audits of dealers related to vehicle sales to no-tax states, including Montana.” The main targets, the agency says, are “high-end automobile dealers and their customers through investigations and audits.” The CDTFA also claims the so-called “Montana Loophole” costs the state more than $10M per year in revenue, and that 81 criminal investigations since June 2023 have identified 601 fraudulently registered vehicles, resulting in $2.3M in recovered registration and taxes.

As for the 14 individuals charged in this latest crackdown, they are alleged to have prepared and submitted false California tax and fee forms as well as false registration forms and false bills of lading. Some of these false documents claimed the cars were for out-of-state use, even as the cars went to California buyers for use in the state. Cars bought in California, by Californians, for use in California, are subject to state taxes, fees, and inspections. Residents owe state sales tax on vehicles that are not first used and stored out of state for at least 12 months.

The 56-page document put out by the California Attorney General’s office includes the charges, the names of the 14 defendants, and some revealing text messages used to build the case. Some of them read as follows:

“Lana made me provide a fake bill of lading which cost me $200 but did allow me to pickup [sic] the Urus.”

“Just gotta throw some generic signatures.”

“We’ll make it to Montana in about 45 min” sent from Santa Clara County, CA, about 1000 miles from Montana.

“don’t want the state of California to know anything about this car.”

“70k saved – I can’t believe the registration lasts for 5 years – that’s crazy. Stupid California. Paid 3k to own a 600k car for 5 years – lol in Cali that’s like 75k for 5 years. Hella dumb.”

“We need to ship a 488 pista from San Mateo to Campbell but on the bill Of lading [sic] put it’s going to Montana”

“Definitely move the cars. Or get them registered. This guy [a California DMV investigator] isn’t playing around.”


The vehicles referenced in the document are mostly exotic sports cars and luxury vehicles. They include a Porsche 918 Spyder, Porsche 911 GT3RS, Porsche 911 GT2RS, Ferrari SF90, Ferrari 488 Pista, Ferrari F12tdf, Lamborghini Huracán STO, Lamborghini Huracán EVO Spyder, Lamborghini Huracán Tecnica, Lamborghini Aventador Ultimae, McLaren 765 LT Spider, McLaren Elva, BMW X7, and BMW M2.

This is not the first crackdown on those seeking to take advantage of the Montana loophole. In 2018, the Georgia Department of Revenue identified two individuals who had dozens of cars that were registered with Montana LLCs but stored and used in Georgia. Massachusetts and Colorado have both gone after RV owners for allegedly abusing the loophole, and there are cases in which California investigators showed up at individuals’ homes with a search warrant.

If this latest news is any indication, the investigations and crackdowns in California seem likely to continue. “CDTFA is working to close this loophole that erodes California’s revenue base,” according to CDTFA director Trista Gonzales. “Our department is identifying questionable transactions through state partnerships to protect the integrity of California’s tax system while ensuring the tax is paid to support our schools, roads, public safety, and essential services that all Californians depend on.”

Petersburg Cars & Coffee  March 21
See all the photos at Petersburg Cars & Coffee March 21

Jewels Found On Ebay

Here are a couple of hot finds from Ebay Motors.

eBay item number: 287150775933
$7,645.75or Best Offer
eBay description: 1966 Ford Fairlane S Code GTA Convertible Barn Find
Only 4327 GTA Convertibles where built in 1966
Great original car high demand to restore
Door Tag Reads as Follows
76D Conv 500 GT
T Red Paint
86 Black Interior
30K Build Date Oct 30th
12 District Buffalo
4 3.25 Conventional Rear Axle
4 C6 Automatic Transmission
As seen this car was swapped to a manual transmission at some point
Still has original 9 Inch Rear End
Engine turns over but condition is unknown
Missing front seats
Has both pieces of the rear seat
Hood is very nice
Fenders and door are solid
Rocker panels are solid
Needs lower quarters as seen in the photos
Will need floor work as seen
Car will need a full restoration but is a great car to start with
Comes with everything shown in the photos


Why are these projects always missing their headlights? Did someone need all 4 of them for a vehicle? Check the driver door - tells you all you need to know about buying a rusty uni-body convertible. The body panels don't line up and expect to pay a really good body shop a lot of money to get this thing straight. It was a nice car when new; not so today.

Next up is a "project".

eBay item number: 306803817517
$15,000.00 - no bids
eBay description: The 1969 Chevrolet C-10 is a vintage standard cab pickup truck with a classic blue exterior color. It features an 8-cylinder engine, manual transmission, and rear-wheel drive. With only one previous owner and a low mileage of 59,000, this Chevrolet C-10 is a vehicle that comes with a clean title. The service history is available, and it was made in the United States, adding to its nostalgic appeal for collectors and enthusiasts of classic cars.grandpa got new for the farm.wrote everything down in cab and on paperwork.its a true 59k truck.hear the doors close.i put in a 305 Impala SS carbed motor and put on the Edelbrock carb and intake and headers.it will fire.but mice or something chewed the wires and hoses.i only drove it home he got to old and sold it to me with a blown engine.sat in barn since 99.then I got a motor and only drove it to the shed.it ran then parked two years ago.this is the real deal.please bid to win.thanks and God bless.TOPPER NOT INCLUDED.comes with original wheels.IM A CHRISTIAN BELIEVE EVERY WORD.EVERYTHING WILL BE AS I SAY!

This looks at first glance like a decent project - but that starting bid of 15K is out of this world. 59,000 miles? Maybe 259,000 miles - check that seat - did some big animal take a bite out of it? And with the big price you don't even get the topper. It's the real deal - bid to win!

eBay item number: 188132185949
$9,999.00or Best Offer
eBay description: 1970 AMX
360 4-barrel
Automatic
Red interior (066F)
Tijuana Tan Poly (91A)
140 MPH speedometer (standard)
“auto tranny, but inadvertently tossed it when cleaning out warehouse, still has matching numbers engine (no such thing as matching numbers transmission so that doesn't matter.”


He tossed the transmission out but don't worry they don't have matching numbers. This looks like another vehicle that wants to escape the junkyard where it was used for parts. These AMXs are getting pricy but this one at 10 grand would cost more to restore/fix up than just going out and buying a complete running and driving one.

Mustang/Ford Car Meet at Mission BBQ March 29
See all the photos at Mustang/Ford Car Meet at Mission BBQ March 29

America’s Corn Ethanol Fiasco: Starving Our Farms to Fuel Green Dreams

From Self Reliance Central
Listen up, folks – we’ve got a classic case of Washington meddling turning gold into garbage. The claim floating around is that America’s hooked on importing food because we’re wasting prime farmland on growing corn for biofuel instead of actual grub. Sounds like another eco-warrior fever dream, but let’s dig in with an America First lens. We’re talking about putting our farmers, our economy, and our sovereignty first, not chasing unicorn fantasies that end up hurting the heartland. After a deep dive into the numbers – and yeah, I checked ’em twice because bureaucrats love to fudge facts – here’s the unvarnished truth. Spoiler: It’s not as simple as the tree-huggers say, but it’s still a mess courtesy of bad policy.

The Corn-for-Fuel Hustle: Is It Robbing Our Dinner Tables?
First off, is the claim true? Sort of, but not in the way the alarmists spin it. America churns out about 15 billion bushels of corn a year, and roughly 36 to 40 percent of that – around 5.5 billion bushels – gets turned into ethanol for biofuel. That’s a whopping chunk of our farmland, over 30 million acres tied up in this boondoggle. Ethanol production hit a record 16.2 billion gallons in 2024, and it’s still climbing despite the headaches.

Now, does this mean we’re importing burgers and beans because all that corn could be feeding folks instead? Not exactly. The U.S. is still a beast in domestic food production – we grow plenty of grains, meats, and staples right here. But our food imports have exploded to $213 billion in 2024, creating a $37 billion trade deficit that’s ballooned over the last decade. Projections for 2025 put it even higher, maybe pushing $47 billion. That’s real money leaving our shores, folks, and it’s not because we’re short on corn chowder.

The reality? We’re importing stuff we can’t or don’t grow efficiently at home – think tropical fruits like bananas and avocados, coffee, cocoa, and off-season veggies. In 2024, fruits and nuts alone racked up $20 billion in imports, with beverages at $42 billion and seafood over $12 billion. Sure, some farmland locked into ethanol corn means less flexibility for other crops, but the big driver is consumer demand for variety and year-round supply. We’re not “feeding America on imported food” wholesale – domestic output covers most basics like wheat, soy, and beef. But yeah, that ethanol mandate is crowding out potential for more diverse farming, and it’s jacking up costs everywhere.

Green Pipe Dream: Ethanol’s Dirty Little Secrets
If you’re thinking this corn-for-fuel gig is saving the planet, think again. The environmental toll is a nightmare straight out of a bad sci-fi flick. Growing all that corn requires massive fertilizer dumps – nitrogen that’s breaking down into nitrous oxide, a gas 300 times worse than CO2 for warming the planet. Agriculture already spews over 10 percent of U.S. greenhouse gases, and corn ethanol is the kingpin, guzzling two-thirds of our nitrogen fertilizer.

Studies crunching the numbers show ethanol’s carbon footprint is at least 24 percent higher than gasoline when you factor in land grabs, fertilizer runoff, and processing. We’re talking expanded corn acres – up 8.7 percent from 2008 to 2016 alone – plowing over pastures and conservation land. That leads to 3 to 8 percent more fertilizer use nationwide, spiking water pollution by 3 to 5 percent. The Gulf of Mexico’s dead zone? Blame nutrient runoff from these mega-farms, creating an oxygen-sucking wasteland bigger than some states.

And get this: Monocropping corn year after year strips the soil, kills biodiversity, and turns fertile ground into dust bowls waiting to happen. The Renewable Fuel Standard – that bloated 2007 law forcing ethanol into our tanks – promised climate wins, but it’s delivered a net loss. We’re subsidizing pollution while pretending it’s progress. America First means real energy independence, not this subsidized scam that’s eroding our topsoil and choking our rivers.

Economic Gut Punch: Who Pays the Price?
The economic disruptions from this biofuel binge are hitting where it hurts: American wallets and farms. Corn prices jump 2 to 3 percent for every billion gallons of ethanol we crank out, thanks to the RFS mandates. That ripples through the food chain – higher feed costs for livestock mean pricier beef, pork, and chicken at the store. Taxpayers? We’re on the hook for billions in subsidies that prop up this industry, with ethanol plants raking it in while family farms scrape by.

Remember the ethanol boom from 2004 to 2011? Production quadrupled, but it wasn’t just the RFS – the MTBE ban on gasoline additives lit the fuse. Still, policies like these distort markets, inflating corn demand and squeezing out other crops. We’ve seen food costs climb $4.9 to $6.8 billion extra in recent years just from biofuel tweaks. And with imports surging – up 6 percent annually from 2014 to 2024 – our trade deficit is bleeding jobs and cash overseas.

Rural economies get a short-term boost from ethanol plants, sure, but the long game? Higher input costs, volatile prices, and dependency on government handouts. We’re talking fertilizer spikes, water scarcity in corn-heavy states, and farmers locked into a cycle that favors Big Ag over the little guy. America First demands we ditch these disruptions and let markets work – not force-feed ethanol that costs more than it saves.

What We’re Really Importing: Exotic Treats or Everyday Essentials?
So, are we only importing food that’s “difficult to grow here,” or is foreign chow taking over our plates? Mostly the former, but the lines are blurring. Top imports in 2023 and 2024: Fruits like avocados ($2.5 billion from Mexico), bananas, berries; veggies for off-season salads; seafood ($1.4 billion, mostly from Chile and Norway); coffee and cocoa we can’t produce domestically.

Domestic production dominates staples – we export $176 billion in ag products like soy, corn, and meat. But imports now make up over half our fruit and nut consumption, a third of veggies, and most seafood. Grain milling products? 57 percent imported. Even Fourth of July classics like watermelon, tomatoes, and beer have deficits. It’s not that we’re starving without imports; it’s about variety and convenience. Consumers want guac in January, and that means relying on Mexico for 80 percent of our avocados.

But here’s the rub: As biofuel corn hogs more land, we’re less agile in ramping up domestic alternatives. Imports grew to $213 billion in 2024 because we’re specializing in grains while outsourcing the rest. That’s not strength – it’s vulnerability. Trade wars or supply chain hiccups, and suddenly your smoothie costs double.

Time to Ditch the Ethanol Albatross
Bottom line: The corn-for-biofuel push is a policy trainwreck that’s inflating prices, trashing the environment, and making us more dependent on imports for the good stuff. We’re not “importing food instead of growing it here” across the board – we’re smartly focusing on what we do best while bringing in the exotics. But ethanol’s land grab is a drag on flexibility, and the economic hits are real.

America First means scrapping these green mandates that benefit lobbyists over farmers. Let markets decide, boost domestic diversity, and keep our food secure. We’ve got the best land and growers in the world – time to unleash ’em without the ethanol anchor. If we don’t, we’ll keep watching billions flow overseas while our farms pay the price. Wake up, Washington – before it’s too late.

Asphalt Angels Show March 13 - 15

Get Ready for the “Florida Man Revs Engine, Gets Ticket” Headlines

From Hagerty
Florida sounds serious about cracking down on noisy vehicles and enthusiastic owners. A bill, CS/CS/CS/HB 543 – Transportation, has been through several revisions and, if it’s signed by Governor Ron DeSantis, could go into effect on July 1, 2026. It amends prior provisions on automotive noise and requires vehicles to maintain a functioning exhaust system and muffler. The bill is filled with small changes to existing laws and includes new provisions that ban cars from revving their engines. We first heard of the change thanks to an article on ClickOrlando. The pertinent bit of the bill reads as follows:

“Every motor vehicle that is required by federal law or regulation to be equipped with an exhaust system shall at all times be equipped with and maintain an exhaust system in good working order including muffler, manifold pipe, and tailpiping to prevent excessive or unusual noise. It is a violation of this subsection to intentionally increase the revolutions per minute or unreasonably accelerate in a manner that would produce excessive or unusual noise. This subsection does not apply to a motorcycle or moped that does not exceed United States Environmental Protection Agency noise emissions standards in 40 C.F.R. s. 205.152.”

We bolded the text that has changed since the introduction of Florida HB 543. That part initially read, “In no event shall an exhaust system allow excessive or unusual noise at a level plainly audible at a distance of 100 feet or more from the motor vehicle.”

While it seems clear what the bill means by “intentionally increase the revolutions per minute,” the text that follows is a bit vague, which could allow law enforcement officers a wide berth when determining what constitutes unreasonable acceleration. That doesn’t appear to be an issue in other states, as similar laws are on the books across the country that deal with “exhibition of speed,” and other driving scenarios that aren’t as black and white as a lane violation or right-of-way.

The part of Florida HB 543 targeting engine revving has churned up passionate sentiments on both sides of the argument, with the ClickOrlando article generating hundreds of comments, including those questioning how Daytona Bike Week would be policed, some who are fed up with loud exhausts, and others who were hesitant to give officers the ability to ticket for such a subjective reason.

The bill passed the Florida House of Representatives with only a single “no” vote on March 3. The companion bill passed the Florida Senate unanimously on March 6. Though the Senate bill had several differences from the House bill, the proposed noise regulations remained. If the Florida House of Representatives approves the Senate version, the bill moves to the Governor’s desk.

Asphalt Angels Show March 13 - 15

The Briefs

A 29-year-old Powhatan man was arrested Monday evening after taking cops on a high speed chase that ended in a Norfolk crash, according to Virginia State Police. Around 10:30 p.m., a state trooper attempted to stop a Blue Honda Accord that was driving 107 mph in a 55 mph zone on Interstate 264 westbound near Lynnhaven Parkway. Police said the driver of the vehicle, Maalik J. Robinson, previously evaded Virginia Beach Police in the Oceanfront area. The high speed chase continued onto Brambleton Avenue in Norfolk, where the suspect crashed into an uninvolved vehicle waiting at a stop light at Brambleton and Monticello Avenues. Robinson fled on foot before he was apprehended and taken into custody. A firearm and cocaine were found when cops searched Robinson and the Honda Accord, officials said. The driver in the uninvolved vehicle hit by Robinson sustained minor injuries and was taken to the hospital for precaution, according to police. Robinson faces multiple traffic, drug and gun charges, including speeding, felony eluding, hit-and-run, possession with intent to distribute, possession of an automatic pistol and obstruction of justice.

Uber launched a feature Monday to allow both women riders and drivers across the U.S. to be matched with other women for trips, expanding a pilot program aimed at addressing concerns about the safety of its ride-hailing platform. The new feature is being rolled out nationwide despite an ongoing class action lawsuit against the policy in California, filed by Uber drivers who argue that it discriminates against men. Rival ride-hailing company Lyft is facing a discrimination lawsuit over a similar offering that it introduced nationwide in 2024. Uber’s feature, announced in a blog post, allows women to request a female driver through an option on the app called “Women Drivers.”

Kaiya Reel of East Hollywood, California, ordered food for delivery, KTLA-TV reported on Feb. 22, but the Coco robot device that brought her dinner ran into some problems (literally). Reel said she was inside her home when she heard a commotion outside; "I came out here and found the Coco in my garden. It had got my fence caught up in its wheel ... then just drove away with the fence attached to it," Reel said. "I chased after it and looked like a total crazy person." The company that runs the Coco robots is going to reimburse Reel for the damage to her garden; apparently, it's not Coco's first rodeo with deliveries going amok. One ran into an ambulance, and another knocked over a parked motorcycle.

If you miss school you miss out: When a 12-year-old in Monroe, North Carolina, missed the bus to school on Feb. 18, he made the obvious choice to just drive himself. The Charlotte Observer reported that a Monroe police officer made a traffic stop around 8:30 a.m. and discovered the middle-schooler behind the wheel. A school resource officer from Monroe Middle School transported the boy to school "without further incident," officers said. The state's social services department is following up with the family.

Drivers of two vehicles waiting at a stoplight in Omaha, Nebraska, on Feb. 24 suddenly found themselves staring at the sky, KETV reported. An SUV and a pickup truck suddenly fell into a sinkhole several feet deep; neither driver was hurt, but the SUV driver needed help from bystanders getting out of the hole. Omaha Public Works said the sinkhole was caused by an underground pressurized water leak.

Long Island, New York, grandfather Seth Bykofsky went straight to the top after he was denied renewal on his car's vanity plate, United Press International reported on Feb. 26. The New York State Department of Motor Vehicles said in a letter that his plate -- PB4WEGO -- was in violation of their regulations. Bykofsky did not agree. "In all my years as a parent and now grandparent, the worst I've gotten has been a gentle roll of the eyes from my kids and grandkids," he said. Eventually, the dispute made it to Gov. Kathy Hochul, who spoke with Bykofsky on the phone. She called the plate's message "an important lesson." "We'll get it back for you," she told him.

Layne Featherngill, 58, took matters into his own hands on Feb. 26 in Sykes Creek, Florida, WFTV reported. An ambulance on a call had parked in a way that blocked Featherngill from moving his car, so he got into the ambulance and started to move it out of the way. Brevard County Fire Rescue crew members were working on a patient in the back when they felt the truck begin to roll. When one of the first responders got out and confronted Featherngill, he jumped out of the ambulance and into his own car, then struck a paramedic in the leg as he drove away. Deputies tracked him down and arrested him for grand theft of a motor vehicle and burglary of an occupied conveyanc

Twin sisters are facing animal cruelty charges after a 16-year-old Chihuahua was thrown from their car as it traveled about 50 mph on a Florida roadway, investigators charge. While the dog, a three-pound long-haired named Princess, suffered serious injuries, its owner refused emergency medical treatment for the canine at a local veterinarian, prompting animal welfare officials to subsequently take custody of the dog. Tracey Fitzgerald, 54, and her sister Stacey were arrested Thursday evening on felony counts. Tracey and Stacey are pictured above. Police say that Stacey, the dog’s owner, was sitting in the passenger seat of an SUV being driven by Tracey when the January 22 incident occurred. While the car moved along a Largo road, Tracey allegedly threw the Chihuahua out the front passenger-side window. A witness told cops the dog was “thrown approximately 5ft from the vehicle onto the sidewalk.” The witness identified Tracey as the dog-tosser (which her sister confirmed). Court records do not address a motive for the alleged crime.

Hyundai has patented double sliding car doors inspired by subway trains, hinting at a smarter, easier way to get in and out of future vehicles.

President Donald Trump said a new oil refinery in Brownsville, Texas, will be the first major new U.S. refinery of its type in approximately five decades.

The U.S. Department of Interior’s first oil lease sale in the National Petroleum Reserve–Alaska since 2019 drew more than 430 bids during a March 18 auction that netted $163.7 million. It was a record amount for a federal public lands lease sale.

Virginia State Police are investigating a crash on Interstate 64 that left a teenager and an infant seriously injured (the one-year-old has died). Police said the crash happened at 2:04 a.m. Monday on I-64 East at the 261 mile marker in Hampton. That’s near Hampton Roads Center Parkway. A silver Honda sedan, driven by a 14-year-old girl, was traveling eastbound when it went off the right side of I-64 and hit a guardrail, according to state police spokesperson Matthew Damlein. The car then went off the left side of the interstate and hit the jersey wall. The girl was seriously injured and taken to a local hospital. She was not wearing a seatbelt, police said. The passenger, an infant, also suffered serious injuries. The infant was not properly restrained, according to police. The girl was charged with driving under the influence, driving without a license and a child restraint violation. Police would not specify the relationship between the teenager and the infant.

Seven people were injured in a shooting Sunday night as police worked to disperse a large car meet in a parking lot at the Kemps River shopping area, authorities said. Officers already were present in the 1200 block of Fordham Drive at 8:51 p.m., attempting to break up the impromptu gathering when shots fired nearby, according to the Virginia Beach Police Department. Police located three people with gunshot wounds at the scene. One remains in critical condition, while two sustained injuries that weren’t considered life-threatening. Four additional victims later arrived at local hospitals on their own, police said. A preliminary investigation indicates the shooting began with a struggle over a firearm that was being openly carried, resulting in shots being fired. None of those shot were involved in the struggle, police said, indicating all were bystanders. The victims range from 20 to 24 in age and are from Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Chesapeake, and Suffolk. All are expected to survive. No suspects were located or have been identified.

A global energy corporation based in France has ceded leases off North Carolina and New York, where it planned to spend nearly $1 billion to build offshore wind turbines, back to the U.S. Department of the Interior and will instead redirect that investment into natural gas projects in Texas.

A California driver was pulled over in Los Angeles county when they were seen driving in a carpool lane with an empty jacket as their sole passenger. The California Highway Patrol's Baldwin Park station said on social media that an officer on Interstate 10 in the West Covina area spotted a vehicle in the carpool lane with a suspiciously insubstantial passenger. "That 'passenger' turned out to be a jacket carefully wrapped around the front seat with the seat belt fastened across it to resemble a person," the post said. "Nice try -- but jackets don't count toward carpool lane requirements." The CHP stressed that carpool lanes are reserved for vehicles that meet occupancy requirements. "Fictitious friends and mannequin copilots won't cut it," officials wrote.

The Environmental Protection Agency has issued a temporary 20-day emergency fuel waiver that will allow nationwide sales of gasoline with higher blends of ethanol, beginning on May 1, to boost domestic supplies and temper skyrocketing fuel costs rocking the global economy.

Hundreds of petrol stations across Australia have reported running out of at least one type of fuel due to panic buying and distribution issues. The government insists that the overall fuel supply remains secure despite these shortages.

Dominion’s Coastal Virginia Offshore Wind project hit a milestone the end of March. Its first turbine began delivering power. The project is well over budget, will only provide energy intermittently, and may ultimately prove to be far more expensive than more reliable dispatchable energy.

Original George Washington Challenger Commercial

Repair Mistakes & Blunders

From Rock Auto
While we were on vacation, our daughter called to say her Hyundai Tucson wouldn’t start. The dash powered on, but the engine wouldn’t crank. We told her to use our car until we returned.

When we got home, I spent several hours over multiple days researching possible causes and troubleshooting the issue. There were no stored OBD codes. I checked fuel delivery, the camshaft position sensor, and several electrical systems — everything appeared normal. I removed a spark plug and noticed that when the engine was cranked, it sparked once and then stopped. That made me suspect the immobilizer system. I used my scanner to dig deeper and found a security code indicating a failed chip read.

My next step was to check the antenna ring for the chip key in the steering column. As I leaned over the wheel to remove the screws, I noticed something shiny — a cute silver ring with pink gems wrapped around the ignition switch. I peeled it off, and the car started immediately. The metal ring had been blocking the antenna from communicating with the chip in the key.

When I asked my daughter when she added the bling, she admitted it was the day before the car stopped working.

Scott in Canada

Asphalt Angels Show March 13 - 15

High Schoolers Repair Cars And Gift Them To Single Moms In Need

From USA Today
A set of car keys helped a mom win back custody of her child.

In Shane Robertson’s automotive class at Louisa County High School in Mineral, Virginia, his students don’t just learn how to repair cars. They head to the garage to refurbish donated vehicles for single moms they’ve never met.

Working with the nonprofit Giving Words, students repair each car and then hand over the keys to a family in need.

“These repairs are real,” Shane said. “This is somebody's real car and you're really making a change in the world, which is something that's kind of unique.”

Giving Words was founded in 2018 by Eddie Brown and his wife, inspired by their personal experiences.

“My wife and I were both single parents and struggled with transportation,” Eddie said. “So that's one reason why we created Giving Words.”

Since then, the organization has gifted more than 60 cars to single mothers.

When Jessica Rader received the keys to a 2007 gold Prius, she was in tears. She soon realized the car meant far more than reliable transportation.

“People that didn't even know me cared enough to care about my kids because of giving words,” Jessica said. “I not only got a vehicle, I got back custody of a child because I was able to give rides to and from school, to and from football practice.”

“You never know what one act of kindness will do,” she said.

USPS Celebrates The Lowrider Classic Cars

From News USPS
The Postal Service will release its Lowriders stamps on Friday, March 13.

Lowriders are typically vintage cars customized with smaller wheels, special hydraulic suspensions, colorful paintwork and intricate detailing.

They originated in 1940s-era working-class Mexican American/Chicano communities in East Los Angeles and the American Southwest.

The stamps showcase five classic models: a blue 1958 Chevrolet Impala called “Eight Figures”; an orange 1964 Chevrolet Impala named “The Golden Rose”; a green 1987 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme dubbed “Pocket Change”; a blue 1946 Chevrolet Fleetline called “Let the Good Times Roll/Soy Como Soy”; and a red 1963 Chevrolet Impala named “El Rey.”

Antonio Alcalá, an art director for USPS, designed the stamps using photographs by Philip Gordon and Humberto Mendoza.

The Forever stamps will be available starting March 13 at Post Offices and on usps.com.

Asphalt Angels Show March 13 - 15

Honda cancels all three US.-built EVs as it expects to lose up to $15.8 billion

From: MSN via Car and Driver
Honda is canceling the development and sale of the 0-Series SUV, 0-Series Saloon, and Acura RSX, all of which were going to be built in the United States.
The automaker explicitly called out American tariff policies and the volatile policy environment surrounding EV incentives and fossil fuel regulations.
Honda is projecting massive profit losses as a result of the decision, and is having some top executives return a portion of their salaries as a result.


Honda is making a monumental shift in its business plans. The automaker is canceling the development and launch of the 0 Series SUV, the 0 Series saloon, and the Acura RSX, and as a result, expects to take a significant financial hit in 2026.

The automaker was blunt in its announcement of the changing plans, citing American tariff policies and the unpredictable nature surrounding American EV incentives and fossil fuel regulations. In its release marking the announcement, Honda made it clear that it expected to incur further financial losses over the long term if it went through with launching the cars.

Honda also called out changing customer values in China, with buyers focusing more on software features and less on things like fuel efficiency and cabin space. In its release regarding the changing product plans, Honda was shockingly blunt about its situation, saying that it was simply unable to deliver products that offer a better value than that of newer Chinese manufacturers.

Both Hondas and the Acura were planned to be built at Honda's manufacturing facility in Ohio, which has been retooling for much of the past two years. Rather than launch the three new models, Honda provided vague plans to establish a "fixed-cost structure appropriate for the scale," regarding the future implementation of electric models.

In light of the canceled models, Honda is preparing to record sizeable financial losses that could amount to up to $15.8 billion. Due to the economic situation, several top executives are returning or reducing their salary by up to 30 percent of their monthly compensation for three months. The automaker is planning to announce a revised mid- to long-term strategy at a press conference scheduled for May of this year.

Federal Surveillance Tech Becomes Mandatory in New Cars by 2027

From Gadget Review
Federal mandate requires surveillance cameras monitoring driver alertness in new vehicles by 2027
Infrared sensors track eye movement and prevent ignition if impairment detected
Technology adds $100-500 per vehicle cost while raising biometric data privacy concerns


Your next car purchase comes with an unwelcome passenger: a federal mandate requiring surveillance technology that monitors your every blink, glance, and head nod. Thanks to Section 24220 of the 2021 Infrastructure Investment and Jobs Act, NHTSA must finalize rules forcing all new passenger vehicles to include “advanced impaired driving prevention technology”—essentially turning your dashboard into a judgment-free zone that’s anything but judgment-free.

The Technology That’s Watching
Infrared cameras and sensors create a constant biometric assessment of driver alertness and sobriety.

The tech involves infrared cameras mounted on steering columns or A-pillars, tracking eye movement, pupil dilation, and drowsiness patterns. Unlike the breathalyzer ignition interlocks from DUI convictions, these systems operate passively—no blowing required. Your car simply watches and decides whether you’re fit to drive.

If the AI determines you’re impaired (blood alcohol ≥0.08% or showing fatigue), it can prevent ignition startup or limit vehicle speed. Think Minority Report, but for your morning commute.

Timeline for Implementation
The surveillance rollout targets late 2026 to 2027 for all new passenger vehicles.

While NHTSA’s final rule faced delays beyond the November 2024 deadline, automakers will still get 2-3 years for full implementation once regulations are finalized. Your current vehicle stays surveillance-free, but shopping for a 2027 model means accepting this digital copilot.

The timing coincides with broader automotive software integration, making these systems potentially updatable through over-the-air patches—expanding monitoring capabilities post-purchase.

Privacy and Cost Concerns Mount
Data collection worries combine with $100-500 per vehicle cost increases passed to consumers.

The privacy implications extend beyond federal oversight. While the law doesn’t mandate external data sharing, manufacturers could potentially upload biometric data to corporate servers, raising concerns about sharing with insurance companies to adjust your premiums based on driving behavior.

The technology adds significant costs—estimates range from $100-500 per vehicle—that automakers will inevitably pass to consumers already struggling with inflated car prices.

Industry Pushback Intensifies
Automakers oppose the mandate citing technical readiness concerns and sales impact fears.

Car manufacturers argue the technology remains unreliable, warning of false positives that could strand drivers. They’re concerned about customer backlash and potential sales declines as buyers seek older, unmonitored vehicles.

The federal government promises this surveillance saves 9,000-10,000 lives annually. Whether that justifies your car becoming a mobile panopticon depends on how much vehicle autonomy you’re willing to trade for theoretical safety gains. Your driving privacy expires with your current car’s lifespan.

Asphalt Angels Show March 13 - 15

Growing Fuel While Importing Food

From The Epoch Times
Commentary by Mollie Engelhart

Running errands the other day, I stopped to fill my car and noticed the small sticker on the pump: 10 percent ethanol.

It’s something most of us see every day and barely think about, but standing there with the nozzle in my hand it struck me again how strange some of the contradictions are in our modern food and energy system.

In the United States we dedicate tens of millions of acres of farmland to growing fuel.

Corn that could feed people or livestock—or better yet, land that could be diversified away from corn entirely—is fermented into ethanol and blended into gasoline. Imagine if even a portion of those acres were growing lentils, beans, barley, or other staple crops that we currently import. Imagine if some of those fields were transitioned back into grasslands where cattle could graze and soil could rebuild itself.

Instead, we grow corn for fuel.

For years we were told this was necessary because fossil fuels were running out. During the early 2000s the message from Washington was clear: oil was scarce, dependence on foreign energy was dangerous, and biofuels were part of the solution. The country needed to become “energy independent,” and ethanol was supposed to help get us there.

Yet if you look closely at how ethanol is produced, the logic begins to unravel.

Growing industrial corn requires enormous amounts of nitrogen fertilizer, much of it manufactured using fossil fuels. The crop itself is largely genetically modified to survive repeated spraying with glyphosate. Tractors plant and harvest the fields using diesel, and the corn is then transported to ethanol plants where it is heated, fermented, distilled, and blended into gasoline.

In other words, we burn fossil fuels to grow corn so we can add a small percentage of ethanol to fossil fuels.

At the pump, most Americans are filling their tanks with fuel that is roughly 90 percent gasoline and 10 percent ethanol. When you step back and look at the full cycle, it starts to feel like a system chasing its own tail.

The modern ethanol boom took shape in the mid-2000s when Congress passed the Renewable Fuel Standard, requiring that a certain amount of biofuel be blended into the nation’s gasoline supply each year. Because corn ethanol was the easiest biofuel to produce at scale, it quickly became the dominant source.

Today roughly 40 percent of the U.S. corn crop goes to ethanol production.

That statistic alone should give us pause. It is difficult to claim that American agriculture is feeding the world when such a large share of our most productive farmland is being used to fill gas tanks.

Meanwhile, the United States imports enormous amounts of food from around the globe.

The environmental math of ethanol production is equally troubling. Industrial corn requires heavy fertilizer applications, and much of that nitrogen does not remain in the soil. It runs off into rivers and streams, eventually contributing to the massive dead zone that forms each year in the Gulf of America. Herbicides and pesticides follow similar pathways through our watersheds.

As a farmer who believes in regenerative systems, this part of the story is impossible to ignore. Healthy ecosystems move toward diversity. They build soil, hold water, and cycle nutrients naturally. The ethanol economy pushes agriculture in the opposite direction, encouraging monoculture corn production across millions of acres.

The deeper you dig into the policy behind ethanol, the more it begins to look less like environmental stewardship and more like a government-directed market.

Billions of taxpayer dollars have flowed into the ethanol industry through subsidies, mandates, and tax credits over the past two decades. Even today the Renewable Fuel Standard guarantees demand by law, ensuring ethanol must be blended into gasoline regardless of whether the market would choose it on its own.

This mandate built an entire industrial ecosystem of ethanol plants, rail networks, commodity trading systems, and political lobbying groups dedicated to protecting the policy. Once a system like that exists, it becomes extremely difficult to unwind.

Yet the contradictions remain.

At the same time farmland is being used to produce fuel, we are importing food that could be grown here. And while we were told ethanol was necessary because oil was scarce, the United States sits on enormous domestic energy reserves. Some estimates suggest there may be more oil beneath Texas than exists in Saudi Arabia, though much of it is heavier crude that our refining infrastructure was not originally designed to process.

It raises an obvious question.

If taxpayer dollars were going to be spent in pursuit of energy independence, would it not have made more sense to invest in refining capacity that could process the oil already beneath our feet while allowing farmland to produce food?

Instead, public policy pushed agriculture toward fuel production and built an entire industry around it.

History shows that when governments attempt to engineer markets, the long-term consequences are rarely well thought out. These programs often cost enormous sums of money, and much of that money eventually flows to a relatively small number of corporations and investors who positioned themselves early in the system.

Farmers themselves are not the villains here. Farmers respond to incentives. If the market rewards corn, farmers plant corn. If ethanol plants are paying, the corn goes to ethanol plants.

But the incentives themselves deserve scrutiny.

The United States has some of the most fertile farmland in the world. That land could be feeding communities, rebuilding soil, restoring grasslands, and producing diverse crops suited to different regions. Instead, a significant portion of it is tied up in a system that requires fossil fuels to grow crops that are then turned into fuel to supplement fossil fuels.

It is hard to see how this qualifies as environmentally sound policy in any meaningful sense. Industrial corn production requires synthetic fertilizer, heavy chemical use, diesel-powered equipment, and enormous monocultures that degrade soil and pollute waterways. Turning that corn into ethanol requires even more energy and infrastructure. When you step back and look at the entire system from soil to fuel pump, it is difficult to argue that this is truly a cleaner or more responsible path.

It is just as difficult to see how it makes financial sense. Billions of taxpayer dollars have flowed into subsidies, mandates, and infrastructure to support the ethanol industry. Yet the result is a fuel blend that still relies overwhelmingly on gasoline and farmland that could be producing food and managed in ways that actually improve the landscape—building soil, filtering water, and cleaning our waterways rather than polluting them.

And yet the policy is so deeply entrenched—with entire industries, rural economies, and political alliances built around it—that it is difficult to imagine it ever changing.

Perhaps the simplest way to think about it is also the most logical. Let farmland grow food. Let soil build fertility and filter water. Let grasslands support grazing animals and restore ecosystems. And if we need fuel, let us produce it from the oil that exists deep within the Earth rather than pretending that polluting millions of acres of farmland for a small percentage of biofuel is an environmental policy.

Because it isn’t.

It is an economic policy—one whose costs stretch far beyond what can be easily seen or even fully explained in a single article.

Sometimes it helps to step back, look at a system plainly, and remember that just because something has existed for decades does not mean it was ever particularly logical in the first place.

The Woman Who Warmed Up Our Winter Driving Woes:
How Margaret A. Wilcox Invented the Car Heater

From Nice News
It’ll probably happen sooner than you’d like: waking up to frigid temperatures, scurrying from your house to your vehicle, and rubbing your hands together while waiting for the car heater to kick in. And once that gloriously warm air rushes through the vents, thawing your frozen face and clearing the fog from your windshield, you can finally start heading to your destination.

Our winter morning commutes would be a lot frostier without the genius of Margaret A. Wilcox, a mechanical engineer born in Chicago in 1838. According to Jalopnik, even before automobiles became commonplace on American streets, she’d identified a need for heating in railway cars, which had little insulation despite the Windy City’s icy winters.

Internal combustion engines produce a great deal of heat while they’re running, so Wilcox came up with the idea of recycling that heat by redistributing it throughout the interior of the car. Her design ran a system of water pipes along the car floor through the engine, which warmed the water and circulated the resulting heat in the cabin like a radiator. She received a patent under her name for the brilliant invention in 1893.

But, as anyone with radiators in their home can attest, this technology often works a little too well and can be difficult to control. Wilcox’s invention didn’t allow for regulating the temperature, so the heat would actually keep increasing throughout the drive, per Jalopnik. Essentially, the temperature settings back then were either “freeze” or “roast.”

Still, by using residual heat already produced by car engines without the need for an additional mechanism, Wilcox’s concept was so ingenious that it formed the basis of subsequent vehicle heating systems, even though it took a few decades. By 1907, when enclosed car cabins had become more widespread, mechanical heating was still considered a luxury. Drivers instead turned to fashionable outerwear, portable heating devices, or incredibly dangerous mechanisms that recirculated hot (but noxious) exhaust fumes into the car.

According to Goodwood Road & Racing, Ford incorporated Wilcox’s engine-heated concept into a luxury add-on for its Model A in the late 1920s. Subsequent companies solved the zero-to-inferno overheating issue of Wilcox’s design by using an engine’s hot liquid coolant to heat a tube of filtered air, which could first be mixed with cooler air from outside to achieve the driver’s desired temperature and then fanned through vents on the dashboard. This method is also more efficient when it comes to keeping the engine cool, as some of its heat gets transferred away to the heater.

Though car climate control systems are much more sophisticated these days, Wilcox still deserves credit for envisioning a way to make motorists more comfortable with just a few extra pipes. In 2020, her invention was named one of Inventors Digest’s top 10 patents filed by women.

The Lemelson Center for the Study of Invention and Innovation points out that the U.S. patent system may have been surprisingly gender blind — women started securing patents at the beginning of the 19th century — a time when Wilcox and her contemporaries still had limited political or property rights. Women inventors also had few opportunities for formal education, faced social pressure to remain homemakers, were often prohibited from owning property in their own names, and had no recourse if their husbands were to steal their patents and profit off their inventions. Many women inventors had to apply for patents under their husbands’ names.

Despite the obstacles of her era, the car heater was just one of Wilcox’s inventions for which she successfully secured patents. Her first, in 1890, was for a combined clothes and dish washer, aiming to ease the manual labor involved in laundry and kitchen cleanup. Two years later, she patented a combined cooking and water-heating stove that could both boil water and heat an entire home via a radiator system. She also patented a dough mixer around the same time as the car heater, as well as a spring-loaded suspended jumping swing for exercise in 1905.

So the next time you climb into your bitterly cold vehicle on a frigid morning and crank up the heat, thank Wilcox for her ingenuity and perseverance. During a period when women engineers and inventors were scarcely heard of or recognized, she foresaw a solution to a problem — and laid the groundwork for us to be comfortable behind the wheel during the bone-chilling months of winter.


April 2026 (4/26) is Hemi Month

Bad Bets: Massive EV Subsidies Not Paying Off

From Real Clear Investigations
The future was supposed to have arrived this year in a cluster of counties just east of Atlanta in the form of a state-of-the-art factory that would churn out 400,000 electric vehicles a year. But when JoEllen Artz looks about her lifetime neighborhood, all she sees are holes.

“Those shovel holes they made in the ground? That’s it,” she said of the planned site of a Rivian manufacturing plant. “It’s awful, awful.”

The problem is not a lack of funds. On the promise of thousands of jobs, elected officials in Washington, D.C., and Atlanta have pledged some $8 billion to the project, including a $6.5 billion loan the Biden administration green-lit in its final hours.

Those loans are just two of the huge public bets, or investments, that state capitals and Washington, D.C., have made on EVs. While no one has calculated exactly how many federal and state dollars both Republican and Democratic elected officials have sent to that green sector, experts RealClearInvestigations consulted fixed the total north of $100 billion.

Overhanging that massive spending, however, is the issue of demand for EVs, or more precisely, the lack of it. In 2025, Rivian said it sold 25,000 EVs in the U.S., far below estimates of 40,000 to 51,000 vehicles. The company’s revenues were flat in 2024 and 2025, coming in around $5 billion. The Georgia plant was supposed to open this year, but the ribbon-cutting is now slated for 2028, according to the company.

When it comes to electric vehicles, the U.S. consumer has spoken, as Ford CEO Jim Farley said earlier this month. Tesla is one of the few profitable manufacturers, and even its numbers are falling. But while people may not be opening their private wallets for EVs, the public purse for them is bulging. An RCI analysis has identified tens of billions of dollars in federal, state, and local subsidies to support EVs in recent years. Now, in light of market headwinds that show tepid consumer interest in the product and looming competition from China, the likelihood that the taxpayer loans will be repaid is diminishing. Experts say this may result in multiple, costly debacles of public “investments” in green energy projects like the Solyndra loan debacle during the Obama administration, which drew headlines at $500 million.

“This has been a colossal mistake,” said Thomas Pyle, president of the Institute for Energy Research. “This has been one of the worst examples of the government trying to impose its will on carmakers and the public.”

Federal Commitments

Public spending on green energy projects, including EVs, began in earnest in May 2009 when President Obama, flanked in the Rose Garden by Detroit and United Auto Workers executives, unveiled his National Fuel Efficiency Policy. It was, the crowd insisted, “good for consumers, good for the economy, and good for the country.”

There has been bipartisan support for many EV initiatives, and the sector got a huge boost during the Biden administration when funding linked to a NetZero future spread throughout the federal government. The bill goes well beyond the billions of dollars in tax credits the federal government provided to EV buyers until that program was ended last September, and includes school buses, postal delivery vehicles, charging stations, and the big manufacturing loans.

The Energy Department, for example, has spent more than $30 billion. That chunk comes from the Advanced Technology Vehicle Manufacturing division. Prior to 2019, the ATVM, as it is known, had issued around $8 billion in loans to five different companies. Of those, Nissan repaid its $1.4 billion loan, while Tesla repaid its $465 million loan years ahead of schedule. A $5 billion loan to Ford remains active, but taxpayers lost nearly $210 million on loans to Fisker Automotive and Vehicle Production Group, both of which defaulted, according to the department.

Since 2019, however, and especially after the new loan authority contained in the Inflation Reduction Act Biden and congressional Democrats pushed through via reconciliation in 2022, more than $21 billion has been approved for EV-related projects, records show. The $6.6 billion to Rivian was not the largest loan in that portfolio. Instead, a $9.6 billion loan to Blue Oval SK, a joint venture with Ford, for EV batteries and the EV supply chain production topped the bill.

At the Environmental Protection Agency, EV-related spending has topped $6.7 billion, with the lion’s share of that, $5 billion, in grants from its Clean School Bus Program to school districts to buy EV buses.

The EPA has paid between $225,000 and $375,000 per EV school bus, which is roughly three times more expensive than a traditional internal combustion engine bus, and at those prices, it would cost more than $200 billion to replace the nation’s fleet. Such taxpayer largesse has been a boon to the bottom line of school bus manufacturer Blue Bird, but the EPA’s expensive program has suffered myriad setbacks, such as delayed deliveries, bus fires, route distances, and heating the buses in cold weather.

The U.S. Postal Service has spent an estimated $3 billion for EV vehicles in its fleet. A spokesperson said the Postal Service is in the midst of a $9.6 billion “investment” launched in 2022, but they declined to say how much of the remaining $6.6 billion has or would go to buying EVs. At the end of 2025, however, the Postal Service’s proposed EV fleet was running far behind schedule, with Republican Sen. Jodi Ernst ripping the plan as a “boondoggle.”

States Jump In

Some states have labored to force EVs into the market. More than a dozen of them have followed California’s lead, requiring at least 35% of cars offered for sale there annually be “ZEVs,” or “zero emission vehicles,” with all cars being ZEVs by 2035. This complicated, opaque system has made all cars more expensive, according to economists. Congress voted last year to kill California’s plan, but President Trump has not acted on that, and state officials have vowed to sue if he signs it.

On top of the costs of those market manipulations, which can be difficult to compute, are billions in direct state spending on EVs and EV-related projects. Both Republican and Democratic elected officials supporting these moves have done so on the grounds that it would provide an economic boost and be good for the environment.

Rivian, whose corporate communications did not respond to RCI’s request for comment, hasn’t only benefited from the Biden administration’s last-minute loan. In 2022, the state’s Republican leadership in Atlanta pledged up to another $1.5 billion – one of the largest incentive packages in Georgia history – including tax incentives, abatements, support programs, and more than $175 million for land acquisition and improvements. There has been an estimated $25 million in local incentives provided, too.

Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp and House Speaker Jon Burns, both Republicans, attended the groundbreaking ceremony there last September.

“Today is another milestone in bringing quality, good-paying jobs to Georgians in this part of the state,” Kemp said.

The plan has seen repeated delays, however. Currently, Rivian builds its EVs at an Illinois plant, but the company has been losing roughly $39,000 per EV it sells.

Oversight of the sputtering EV project, which was announced in 2021 and is now slated to come online in 2028, has been given to the Joint Development Authority of Jasper, Morgan, Newton, and Walton counties, which did not respond to a request for comment. Opponents said that the maneuver protected the 2,000-acre site from local zoning restrictions.

The delayed timetable of factory construction, along with Rivian’s flat revenue and struggling sales, has led a group of six residents, including Artz, to step up their opposition to the project. They argue the massive construction could damage their water table, but their lawsuit against the plant lost in 2024, although they successfully battled Georgia’s attempt to make them pay legal fees.

“We’re frustrated as taxpayers,” Artz told RCI. “They’ve spent hundreds of millions of dollars on this plant that doesn’t exist.”

In December, Tennessee lawmakers said they might renegotiate a $500 million payment they had offered the Blue Oval SK battery factory in Haywood County after Ford scaled back its EV venture. The joint venture’s new plans will likely involve 1,000 fewer jobs than initially announced in 2021.

In addition, the Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation noted another $8.5 million spent on EV buses and charging stations, although some of that money may have come from federal grants.

At Volkswagen’s Chattanooga EV factory, a labor dispute erupted with union workers last year after shifts were cut due to low sales numbers, although a tentative agreement on that was announced by the company this month.

The Wrong Incentives

EV supporters insist the vehicles are the future, and that American businesses and citizens need robust incentives to embrace technologies that will stave off the apocalyptic consequences of climate change. As with many other aspects of climate policy, backers have not only argued for the environmental benefits of EVs but have cast them as an economic boon that will create jobs and save consumers money.

“The key is designing incentives that convert new buyers, not subsidizing people who were going to buy an EV anyway,” said Mike Murphy, CEO of EVs for All America, a nonprofit public-education group working to ensure the benefits of electric vehicles reach every community. “A first-time ‘conquest credit’ is simply a smarter use of taxpayer dollars because once somebody switches to electric, data shows 80% stay with EVs. That’s the win for preparing the US auto makers to be competitive in the future car business, which will be dominated by EVs."

Ingrid Malmgren, senior policy director of Plug In America, said the move away from EVs will have dangerous long-term consequences as it “favors a return to fossil fuels over the growth of a clean energy economy.” Malmgren said, “This essentially will shift taxpayer liabilities from funding clean energy and manufacturing jobs to funding fossil fuel subsidies.”

Critics of Biden’s policies counter that the promised benefits of such policies – in a world where China is now by far the largest emitter of greenhouse gases – are dubious. What is clear is that tabulating all the ways the federal government props up the EV industry is a “herculean task,” the American Energy Institute concluded in a report last year, saying “the federal government is running roughshod over sound public policies.”

Institute CEO Jason Isaac said an accounting of the spending is long overdue.

“Taxpayers have spent tens of billions of dollars subsidizing electric vehicles through direct tax credits, manufacturing incentives, charging infrastructure grants, and a web of regulatory mandates that shift additional costs onto consumers,” he told RCI. The dense web of regulations and credits has made spending opaque and “allowed regulators to game the standards in ways that masked the true costs.”

Huge Losses

Outside of government work, the market for EV makers is grim. On Feb. 6, Stellantis announced a $26 billion loss on its EV business. Ford has never been able to entice buyers to an electric version of its F-150 pickup, which for many years has been the best-selling car in America, and two months ago announced it will absorb losses of $19 billion on its EV ventures through 2027. In an earnings call this month, Honda revealed big 2025 EV losses, which have now cost the company close to $5 billion.

In between those staggering hits came General Motors, whose Chief Executive Mary Barra has been an outspoken booster of EVs. Last month, General Motors announced a $6 billion write-off, which, added to previous losses, brings GM’s EV hit to $7.6 billion. The German carmaker Volkswagen has seen declining sales of its EV cars in the U.S. – they fell off a cliff in the last quarter of 2025 after federal payments for buyers ended. VW executives said last year the company remained committed to spending $180 billion on its EV ventures, a slight reduction from initial estimates, but its flagship model, the ID4, is the slowest-selling car in the United States.

The Trump administration would seem to be opposed to massive spending on EVs, as it has said repeatedly that it wants energy policy focused on resilient, reliable, and less expensive energy sources than the renewables that comprise NetZero plans. On Feb. 12, Trump announced he was revoking the Obama-era decree that classified greenhouse gases as a public health issue that should be regulated. That finding has been the main regulatory arch supporting the green energy policies that followed.

Yet it is still not clear what action, if any, the Trump administration will take regarding EVs.

At the Department of Energy, which the Biden administration repurposed as a spearhead in the NetZero drive, a spokesperson suggested little has changed as yet. As always, it can be difficult to pluck specific threads from a quilt of federal spending, but when it comes to EVs and EV-related projects,

Trump energy officials did not identify any specific changes they have made to the Advanced Transportation and Vehicle Manufacturing program, although they indicated some could be in the offing.

“(The Office of Energy Dominance Financing) has completed the thorough review of each project in its portfolio, ensuring that every taxpayer dollar is used to advance the interests of the United States. The review is complete – the actions of de-obligating or revising loans and conditional commitments are still ongoing,” a spokeswoman told RCI. EPA officials said they were “actively reviewing and revamping the Clean School Bus Program.”

Although Biden’s Transportation Department had received wide criticism when news broke last year that it had constructed only eight charging stations as part of its $7.5 billion National Electric Vehicle Infrastructure (NEVI) plan, the Trump administration seems intent on spending that money.

“In just five months since issuing revised NEVI guidance, Secretary (Sean) Duffy was able to obligate 39% more NEVI funds than the Biden Administration obligated in three years,” a spokesman said.

The most recent NEVI stats show some three dozen stations and 148 ports across 12 states, according to tracking by North Carolina State University.

The experts RCI spoke with said a tally of just what taxpayers have provided the EV industry should be made, but agreed that no one has successfully done so.

Similarly, just how much of this spending could be wasted in an industry that has enjoyed government support remains to be seen. But if some of the projects fail, the $500 million lost on Solyndra, which created a scandal at the time, will seem like small beer.

“There have been massive, mounting losses that are going to have to be made up somewhere,” Pyle said. “Washington bludgeoned carmakers into a timetable of efficiency standards and the carmakers went along with it. People should be vehemently opposed to anything mandatory, which in effect is what the government is doing.”

Hilarious Spring Break Stories

From Brilliant
“While on Spring Break in Mexico, a Bunch of My Friends and I Went Swimming With the Dolphins. It Was Cool, You Hung Onto the Dolphin’s Fin As It Dragged You Around the Pool and Everyone Watched. I Was Having a Great Time Until the Dolphin Started to Pick up Speed…and My Board Shorts Slipped Off. As I Continued to Hang on for the Remainder of the Lap Around the Pool I Was Silently Wishing I Had Worn Underwear That Day.”

“I Was at a Spring Break Party and in Walked Chris, This Cute Guy I Had Just Started Talking To. After a Lot of Flirting Throughout the Night, He Kissed Me! We Ended up Only Making Out for a Minute Because so Many People Were Around Us. I Was so Giddy That I Went Upstairs to Find My Best Friend and Tell Her About It. I Heard Chris Coming and Figured He Wanted to Kiss More in Private, so I Ducked Into the Food Pantry, Which Was Basically Pitch-black. When He Walked in, I Grabbed Him and Went for It. You Can Only Imagine How Mortified I Was When I Pulled Away and Realized It Wasn’t Him — It Was His Twin Brother!”

“I Was Vacationing in Hawaii and Decided to Sign up for Surf Lessons After Seeing How Hot the Instructor Was. We Started on the Sand, but I Told Her How Athletic I Was—and Said I’d Be Fine If We Moved Things Along a Little Faster…Which Was a Really Bad Idea. As Soon As We Got in the Water, I Was Falling Off the Board Non-stop and Couldn’t Catch a Wave If My Life Depended on It. Eventually, She Got Sick of Watching Me Get Battered by the Waves and Suggested We Take the Lesson Back to Land. As We Were Walking Out of the Ocean, I Lifted the Surf Board Over My Head to Try to Look Cool, but I Ended up Losing My Balance, Letting Go of My Board and Practically Knocking Her Out With It.”

“My Friend and I Were in Miami and We Went to This Posh Lounge for the Night. We Were Talking to These Two Really Hot Guys at a Table Outside When a Gust of Wind Came and Blew up My Skirt. It Wouldn’t Have Been a Big Deal, but I Was Wearing Spanx Underneath My Dress, and They Went All the Way Down to My Thighs. One of the Guys Immediately Commented on My ‘Enormous Granny Panties.’ The Conversation Ended There.”

“I Had a 28-year-old French Man Sitting Next to Me on My Plane to Europe. He Happened to Be Afraid of Flying, so There Was a Lot of Handholding and Crying (on His Part) Throughout the Flight. Apparently, I Was Very Comforting, Though, He Suggested I Ditch My Group in Dusseldorf and Fly to Paris With Him to Be the Mother to His Daughter.”

“I Booked a Spring Break Trip to Panama City Beach With My Friends, Despite the Fact That I Had No Money. I Used up Every Penny I Had to Get Down There and Then, Once I Was There, Realized I Had About $10 Left to My Name for Food for the Entire Seven Days. I Went to Walmart and Bought a 90-pack of Tostino’s Pizza Rolls for $7 and an Extra-large Water, and Rationed Them Out. That’s All I Ate for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner the Entire Time I Was There. I Can’t Even Look at Them Now.”

“When I Was in College, I Had a Huge Crush on This Girl Who Was a Major Do-gooder. In One of Our Classes, She Was Trying to Get People to Sign up for a Habitat for Humanity Trip Where You Helped Build a House Over a Week. I Have Never Done Any Kind of Home Improvement—I Barely Know What a Wrench Is! But I Told Her I Would Love to Go and Made up Some Bs About Having Helped My Dad With Stuff Around the House. Once We Got There, Most of the Work Was Relatively Simple, but at One Point Someone Suggested I Should Be in Charge of the Staple Gun. I Had No Idea What I Was Doing and Wound up Stapling My Shorts to the Wood. Of Course, She Was the One Who Had to Come Over and Help Me Detach Myself…”

“I Got a Urinary Tract Infection While Staying at a Remote Farmhouse in Umbria for a Week. We Were Outside of Perugia, in the Countryside, and the Pharmacy Was Like a 10-mile Trek on a Bicycle. Luckily, the Owner of the House Spoke English and Called the Pharmacy Ahead of Time, but I Had to Bike There and Back. Not Only Did It Ruin a Week in the Countryside, the Antibiotics Didn’t Clear Things up the First Time.”

“Matthew Was Looking Forward to Spending His Spring Break Relaxing With His Best Friend Jason in the Warm Weather at His Grandparents’ Beautiful Ranch. He Spent His Days Laying Out at the Pool, and the Nights Staying in Watching Movies. His Grandparents Woke up and Went to Bed Early so They Never Really Got in His Way. However, One Night, Jason and Matthew Decided It Would Be Really Relaxing to Go in the Hot Tub in the Middle of the Night Before They Went to Bed. It Was Everything but Relaxing When They Discovered Matthew’s Grandparents Naked in the Hot Tub Together. The Rest of the Week Was Pretty Tense.”

“I Didn’t Know I Wasn’t Supposed to Mix Red Wine and Tequila. I Got Way Too Drunk Way Too Early in the Evening and Ran Into a Girl I Knew From Another High School That I Hadn’t Seen in Years. She’d Had a Nose Job and Her Face Looked so Radically Different That I Puked All Over Her. My Drunken Brain Couldn’t Handle the Shock of Her New Face.”

“My Friend and I Drove to West Florida (Always a Bad Sign) to Meet Another Friend. We Went to a Bar, and Then Were Looking for an After Party. Some Rando Invited Us to ‘his House’ and We Went. When We Got There a Dog Came and Greeted Us and Soon Went to the Bathroom on the Carpet, but No One Seemed to Care. Then, We Noticed That the Guy Who Invited Us Wasn’t in Any of the Photos in the Living Room. In the End, We Got Naked and Went Swimming at This Sketchy Guys House, Because It Was Still Spring Break.”

“I Was on a Family Vacation Where I Met a Really Hot Guy. We Flirted a Lot, but We Could Never Be Alone Because My Younger Sister Was Always Tagging Along. So One Night After a Few Drinks, the Guy and I Snuck Off to the Kiddie Pool and Started Hooking up Inside a Pirate Ship. I Guess We Were Too Loud Because Next Thing I Know a Resort Security Guard Was Shining a Flashlight in My Face.”

“I Trekked Over to a Random Tattoo Shop, and Under the Needle I Went. The Tattoo Artist Was Drinking and Smoked a Huge J**nt Halfway Through. I Should Have Left Right Then, but I Didn’t, and Somehow Ended up With a Red Heineken Star on Each Ankle. One — Totally Unsymmetrical! I Still Have Them to This Day.”

“I Was in Panama and Hiking Through the Jungle, Speeding Through the Canal on a Speedboat, and Took a Plane to an Island That Apparently Had No Water. Once I Got so Sick I Passed Out and Fell Into the Toilet I Had Just Peed In. I Then Ate a Raw Cashew Nut After Our Tour Guide Said It Was Okay. Incidentally, It’s Not Okay. My Lip Scabbed up From the Burn and Then I Broke Out With a Poison Ivy-like Rash Over My Entire Body Because Raw Cashews Have the Same Chemical As Poison Ivy.”

“We Got so Caught up Making Out on the Shore, Our Cruise Ship Almost Left Us Behind. “Captain = Not Happy.”

“I Went to Six Flags With a Group Over Break, and I Was Pumped Because My Crush, Livy, Came Too. The Only Problem? She Was Shy. Luckily — or Should I Say Unluckily — I Had an Idea to Get Closer to Her. The Guys and I Had Been Playing This Game All Day Where We Tried to Make Someone Flinch by Lunging at Them. So in an Attempt to Make Livy Laugh, I Did the Lunge Thing to a Donkey Walking by in a Parade. So. Dumb. Not Only Was She Unimpressed, but I Ended up Being Taken to Security!”

”Our Senior Year My Buddies and I Went to Panama City for Spring Break. A Friend of a Friend Lives Just Outside of Panama City Beach and Owns a Helicopter, so We Pregamed at His Place and He Flew Us Out to a Huge, Absolutely Insane Party. We Landed on a Rooftop and Felt Like Ballers. We Were so Stoked That We Raged Extra Hard and I Ended up Losing My Buddy and Found Him Early the Next Morning Passed Out in a Bush About Two Blocks Away With His Pants Off. Needless to Say, the Helicopter Ride Back Was a Hungover Mess That I Try to Block Out, to This Day.”

“Andrew Spent His Junior Year Spring Break in Paris. Frustrated by the Expensive Cuisine, He and His Friend Decided to Skip Their Planned Lunch With the Rest of Their Friends and Go to a More Economically Friendly Restaurant They Had Seen the Day Before. However, Wasting Money on Overpriced Food Looked Very Appealing After He Discovered Two Spiders Crawling in His Pasta. Bon Appetit!”

“My Junior Year of High School, I Went to Mexico for a Week With My Best Friend and Her Family. It Was Our Last Night of Vacation, so We Decided to Go Dancing. That’s When I Met Steven. I Hinted to My Friend That I Wanted Alone Time With Steven, so the Group Went Ahead of Us. We Sat Down Behind a Stack of Chairs and Started Hooking Up. “Suddenly, It Became Very Bright. I Thought My Friends Were Pulling a Prank, but When I Looked up, There Were Security Guards Shining Their Flashlights on Us. While I Hurried to Fix My Clothes, Steven Gave Them $20 to Leave Us Alone.”

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